I'm bad at being single.
I know it sounds like a strange thing to be discussing as a skill, but it's true. I'm not good at the single life. I'm sure it has something to do with that I've spent more of my adult life in relationships than out of them, but I think it goes deeper than that. When it comes down to it, I just don't like being alone. Of course, a little bit of solitude is important every once in a while, but I find I have a lot of trouble motivating myself without someone else to push me along. Take today for example: from about 2:00 to a bit before 9, I laid on the couch watching golf followed by "I love the 80s" (you didn't think it could get worse than golf did you). By then I was so incredibly sick of sitting on my ass, I had to get out of the house, so I went to a movie... alone.
You see, my problem is that I am not introverted enough to relish the ours alone, but I'm not extroverted enough to do anything about it. I am not good at calling people up to suggest plans. I always feel as if I'm interrupting, or inviting myself over... that sort of thing. I constantly worry that if I call a friend too many times, they will think I'm being too clingy or a nag. Nine times out of ten I'm sure I am wrong in my assumptions, but as a result, I end up sitting around staring at my phone, wishing someone would invite me somewhere. And it seems many of my friends don't think of me when planning a weekend outing, because those calls have been pretty rare of late. I don't mean to imply any malicious intent on the part of my friends; I'm sure they just don't think of me or have their own plans. However, the end result is the same: I become a shut-in with nothing to do but feel sorry for myself. Not a very healthy past-time I must say.
But what to do about it? I suppose I could resolve to be more assertive and call up more friends trying to make my own plans... but here comes that nagging feeling again, that I am turning into that irritating friend who you don't mind seeing around, but he won't stop calling trying to get invited along to everything you do. Oh well, I guess I'll just be lonely a while longer.
You see, my problem is that I am not introverted enough to relish the ours alone, but I'm not extroverted enough to do anything about it. I am not good at calling people up to suggest plans. I always feel as if I'm interrupting, or inviting myself over... that sort of thing. I constantly worry that if I call a friend too many times, they will think I'm being too clingy or a nag. Nine times out of ten I'm sure I am wrong in my assumptions, but as a result, I end up sitting around staring at my phone, wishing someone would invite me somewhere. And it seems many of my friends don't think of me when planning a weekend outing, because those calls have been pretty rare of late. I don't mean to imply any malicious intent on the part of my friends; I'm sure they just don't think of me or have their own plans. However, the end result is the same: I become a shut-in with nothing to do but feel sorry for myself. Not a very healthy past-time I must say.
But what to do about it? I suppose I could resolve to be more assertive and call up more friends trying to make my own plans... but here comes that nagging feeling again, that I am turning into that irritating friend who you don't mind seeing around, but he won't stop calling trying to get invited along to everything you do. Oh well, I guess I'll just be lonely a while longer.
posted by MadMusician at 7:57 PM
3 Comments:
Darling, I am inviting you on a picnic. You pick the day and the place, and I'll bring the wine. It will be fun! We'll go rolling down hills.
I'm so sad to see you down in the dumps. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Love you!!!
That sounds lovely. I chose next weekend here in Greensboro. See you there. *wink*
Noah dear,
Call your friends. There are the kinds of friends that call, and the kind that don't, and wait to get called. I bet you have friends who wait, and you wait too. You'll all just be waiting around. It will be so sad! So call your friends. AND, speaking as someone who ALWAYS has to call her friends (at least when I'm home in Ohio), it's nice to get calls for once instead of having to call people all the time. So yeah. That's my little speech on calling your friends. Don't worry, I didn't make it up just for you, like, GOD NOAH, call your friends, IDIOT! I have this speech because I'm always calling people and it can get annoying when no one else takes the initiative to make plans. So, to recap, call your friends and have a lovely day.
~Lindsey
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